Point Guard Mentality

Magic Johnson was one of the best, if not the best point guard ever!  What made him so special on the basketball court was the fact they he did everything he could to make those around him better!  It was evident in the way his teammates reacted towards him after scoring a basket from one of his amazing passes. They would find him running back down the court and would point in his direction...as a sign of respect and appreciation!

Everyday we have an opportunity to have this "Point Guard Mentality"!  Everyday we have an opportunity to help someone else be successful.  To help someone else win!  Everyday we have an opportunity to encourage, inspire, recongnize, and appreicate others and spur them on towards GREATNESS! 

Our words and actions towards others should be like that perfect pass from Magic Johnson...making it easy for somone else to SCORE!

60 Seconds!

60 Second Challenge:  make someone feel valued, appreciated, or special in the first 60 seconds you talk to them!  It could be a compliment...a significant question relating to something going on in their life...or really anything that let's the person know that you think they are important!

The first 60 seconds of any conversation is so important to the overall direction of the encounter.  You have an amazing ability within the first 60 seconds to either encourage or discourage...to have a meaningful conversation or pointless one...to make an impact or miss an opportunity...to make a person feel appreciated or ignored.

"People may not remember everything you said, but they will remember how you made them feel." -unknown

Post inspired by:  Tim Milburn eBook entitled, "Student Leader: 35 Ways to Put the Leader in Student Leader"

Why Does Criticism Seem More Effective than Praise

Here is a great article dealing with criticism vs. praise:


Unfortunately, that's a poor recipe for reaching your goal — improving someone's average performance. A lot of evidence suggests that positive reinforcement — identifying and building on strengths — will produce better results than a relentless focus on faults. This is important. To improve, people need positive feedback. It's just as important to recognize and reinforce their strengths as it is to point out where they're falling short. And you need to understand why praise canseem dysfunctional, so you don't withhold it.   Read More!

Validation by Hugh Newman

Appreciate Others.  This video kind of puts it all into perspective.

Two Practical Appreciation Principles: Welcome Home and Championship!

Imagine yourself sitting at home like any other day and you hear someone knocking at your door.  To your surprise, you open the door and standing on the other side is a very close friend.  A friend that has been out of the country for an extended period time.  How would you greet him?  How would you respond?

Challenge #1:  What if we showed our appreciation for others in much of the same way we would our "friend" returning home after being gone so long?  What if everyday we greeted people in much of the same fashion as we would our long lost friend?  WOW!

Now imagine that your team finally won the championship that had been eluding them for years. (Raider fans can relate!)  What would happen if this season, your team won the big one?  Won it all?  Would you celebrate?  Would you throw a party?  Would you cheer?  Would you talk about it?

Challenge #2:  What if we recognized people in our lives who have made a positive impact in the same way we celebrate our favorite teams?  What if we cheered for others much like we cheer for our favorite athletes, who by the way for must of us, is someone we don't even know!  WOW!

Personally, I am far from living up to these two challenges...but they do motivate me to improve in the areas of appreciating others and recognizing the success of others.  I hope you will join me at improving in this area of life and leadership.

Inspire Appreciation

Inspire Greatness through Appreciation

Appreciating others has an amazing effect on the culture and climate of any school, organization, or group.  People who feel appreciated are more likely to put forth a better effort and go above what is expected of them.  Here are a few ways to inspire greatness through appreciation:

1.  Be Compassion:  genuinely care and show concern for others.  Put their needs before you own.  This will add value to their life!  When people feel valued, they perform better!  EX:  Why do athletic teams typically perform better at home as opposed to on the road?

2.  Be Optimistic:  remain positive, upbeat, and enthusiastic when talking to others. 

3.  Be a Believer:  believe in others.  Your belief in them will translate into positive performance.

Inspiring Appreciation

Appreciation: Before Six or After Death!

How true is this statement:  the bulk of appreciation you receive in this life happens before you reach the age of six or after you’re dead.  (Dan Rockwell)

Think about it!  I have three kids, ages six, three, and two.  Right now they are showered with words of encouragement, appreciation, forgiveness, acknowledgement, and grace.  However, you and I both know that eventually something will change in my actions and communication towards them.  At some point they will reach that stage where they will be expected to put into practice everything they’ve been taught or what I think they should know.  And when they hit this stage, the words of encouragement and appreciation will become less and less!

The other side of showing appreciation is this…sometimes we wait until it’s too late.  I tragically lost my father at the age of 16 and my second father at the age of 26.  At both of their funerals I sat and heard several people share their admiration and appreciation of each of my fathers.  I too was fortunate enough to speak at my second father’s funeral and I remember sharing wonderful stories honoring the role he played in my life.

THE REALITY IS THIS…everyone at some point in life feels underappreciated either at work, school, home, church, organization, etc...

Why do you feel under-appreciated? Because no one understands the true amount of energy you’re expending for them. No one comprehends what you gave up to invest in their life, project, or organization. Your co-works, boss, spouse, and children can’t get inside you to understand and appreciate what goes into your efforts. (Dan Rockwell)

Be careful, feelings of under-appreciation can turn into self-defeating anger, self-pity, and bitterness. 

FIND VALUE IN WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DO!

Do I Know You?

If you are like me we tend to treat "strangers" or a new acquaintance with the utmost respect.  We ask great questions, smile a lot, seem interested in what they are saying, and act overwhelmingly nice to them.  Also, we watch what we say, we keep everything positive, project an optimistic view of life, and overall come across very encouraging.

However, what happens with "old" friends or people we've been around for awhile.  We begin to recognize them less, appreciate them less, acknowledge them less, etc.  When they make a mistake or fail to live up to expectations, we become angry...negative...discouraging...and frustrated.  In addition, when we are around people we are comfortable with we begin to take their friendship for granted!  For example, the little things we used to do to earn their friendship begins to fade away!  We simply stop doing the small things that made them once feel special, wanted, and valued.

Challenge:  Treat those you know BEST, as those you know LEAST!

Turn the Light On!

During the 1920's,  physiologist  Elton Mayo conducted several experiments in regards to improving productivity.  His most famous experiment became known as the Hawthorne Effect.

Essentially, Mr. Mayo thought if people had better lighting it would led to greater productivity.  So, to prove this theory, he had the lights turned up and sure enough productivity did in fact increase.  To further prove his theory, he had the lights turned down and...surprisingly productivity still increased!  Mayo concluded that no matter what he did with the lighting...productivity increased!

"Novel thought: Mayo discussed his findings with the workers who were involved. They told him that the interest Mayo and his researchers showed toward them made them feel more valued. They were accustomed to being ignored." (Steve Roesler)

POINT: When we pay attention to others, appreciate others, value others, etc...others feel like they matter, feel like they are important, feel like they exist, etc...

Inspire Appreciation

Tearing Others Down vs. Building Others Up

Appreciation is having admiration for others and communicating your approval to them!  It is taking the time to make those around you feel valued and needed.  Essentially, the ability to appreciate others forces us to take the focus off "self" and place it on others.

The opposite of appreciation would be things such as insensitivity, disrespect, callousness, and disapproval.  However, the biggest struggle people face when it comes to showing appreciation is PRIDE!  Pride does not allow people to be appreciative of others, because all it wants to do is concentrate on self.  Prideful people do not have the ability to see the contributions of other or express encouragement to them.  

The world is full of discouraging people who live to put others down; very few live to build others up!

Ask yourself...are you putting others down or building others up!

Good Intentions vs. Actual Expression

It's all too easy to confuse our positive feelings or good intentions about others with actually expressing our appreciation for their contributions.  But unexpressed good feelings mean nothing to anyone else.  In other cases, we wait for formal recognition activities rather than giving more frequent and personal positive feedback.

Our energy levels are charged from internal and external sources.  Highly self-directed people have strong inner resources from which they draw their energy.  But most people's energy levels are highly dependent on the responses they get from others, such as teachers, parents, spouses, bosses, team members, or peers that they look to for direction and support.  Too many people drain the energy of others with criticism, pessimism, and apathy.  Highly effective leaders boost the energy of others with their optimism, passion, and appreciation.  They work hard to give people early and frequent tastes of success.  The recognition and celebration recharges everyone and makes them eager to do more.

(Excerpt from the book Growing the Distance by Jim Clemmer pg. 165)

Highly effective leaders find ways to thank, appreciate, recognize, and celebrate accomplishments of others.

PUTTING OUT FIRES OR FANNING THE FLAMES?

Words are Powerful!  They can be used to encourage, inspire, comfort, or motivate people.  However, people often use words to destroy, humiliate, frustrate, or tear someone down.

For example, "When we make a mistake we are recognized 100 percent of the time, when we do something great, we are not recognized 99 percent of the time." (The Carrot Principle by Tom Rath).

As leaders we have a great opportunity to be intentionally present in the lives of those around us.  We have the power to exert a strong influence in the lives of others.  The question becomes, "Are we putting out fires or fanning the flames?"

Everyone has a special gift, talent, or ability.  It is our job as leaders to FAN THE FLAME, to encourage, inspire, comfort, and motivate people to follow their dreams.

I encourage you today to use your words to fan someone's flame, instead of putting our their fire!

Who's Been Packing your Parachute?

For the most part our society, our workplace, and our schools are places where people are only concerned about one thing:  SELF!  Think for a moment, if someone handed you a group photo of a recent trip you went on, what would be the first thing you'd do with the picture?  Well, if you are like me, you would try and find YOURSELF!  You see, by nature we are very selfish people.

Leaders cannot afford to be selfish.  Instead, leaders need to be people who place the needs of others before their own.  Leaders are people who are capable of showing care and appreciation to those around them.  Leaders are people who desire to serve others unconditionally.

There is a great story of Charles Plumb who was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam.  After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile.  Plumb was ejected and parachuted into enemy hands.  He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison.  He survived the ordeal and now lectures on the lessons learned from that experience.

One of the main lessons Plumb learned was th importance of recognizing and appreciating others.  He realized that he is forever grateful towards the young man who packed his parachute.  (read more: http://www.charlieplumb.com/book-insights.htm)

As leaders, I believe it is important for us to think of th people in our life who have "packed our parachute"!  Many of us would not be where we are today, without the help and support of our very own "parachute packers".

Sometimes in the daily challenges of life we miss what is really important.  Oftentimes, we fail to say thank you, or give a compliment, or do something nice for someone else for no reason at all.  As you go through this day or week, I encourage you to appreciate and recognize people who have packed your parachute!

Fill Up Someone's Bucket!

Some great reminders from the book, "How Full is your Bucket"? by Tom Rath

• Each of us has an invisible bucket.  It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on our daily interactions with others.  When our bucket is full, we feel great.  We are productive.  We make a positive impact on our environment.  When it is empty, we feel down.  We are deflated.
• Each of us also has an invisible dipper.  When we do or say things that increase positive emotions in others, we are using that dipper to fill their buckets. Conversely, when we are negative, we are using that dipper to decrease others' positive emotions by dipping from their bucket.

We face a choice every moment of every day:  We can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them.  It's an important choice...one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness.

Thinkful or Thankful?

The English word "thanks" actually comes from the same root word as "think".  Yet oftentimes we are not mindful of the many mentors, teachers, coaches, family members, supporters, pastors, etc...that have assisted us along the way!

The ability to appreciate others actually shows a huge sign of maturity.  When we are young-minded we focus on self and operate with an egotistical mind-set.  However, as we mature we begin to understand that who we are today, right now, in this moment...is largely based on a long list of influential people throughout our entire life.  People who have devoted time, people who have supported up, people who have taught us, people who have counseled us, and people who have desired the best for us!

So the idea is this...if we become more "Thinkful", we might become more "Thankful".

Think who do you need to Thank!

G.R.E.A.T. Way to Show You Care!

Gratitude:  we add value to another person's life by doing or saying something unexpected for them or to them.

Recognition:  we add value to another person's life by acknowledging an accomplishment or achievement.

Encouragement:  we add value to another person's life by expressing approval or support.

Appreciation:  we add value to another person's life by recognizing and enjoying the good qualities of someone.

Thankful:  we add value to another person's life by expressing our delight in them.

Pay Attention!

The ability to appreciate others really comes down to training ourselves to PAY ATTENTION!  It's so easy to go about our day and have all our attention fixed on us.  I think that is part of our survival mentality...looking out for ourselves.  Here are a few suggestions on how to effectively pay attention to others:

- Put Others First:  As we go about our day... continually look for opportunities to put others first.  By doing this the people around you will feel more appreciated and valued.

- Listen with Eyes and Heart:  Begin to use more than just your ears and brain to listen to those around you.  Let your eyes and heart enter the picture.  When we listen with our eyes and heart, it will become more clear who around us needs to be appreciated.  The little things people do will begin to be recognized and will no longer be overlooked.

- Hang Out:  It's amazing how just hanging out with someone, makes a person feel appreciated.  Take a few minutes each day and simply hang out with someone.  Talk less and ask more questions when you are with them.

This suggestions have been adapted from a wonderful book entitled, "Encouraging the Heart" by Kouzes & Posner.

Inspire Appreciation!

People Want to Exist!

People want to exist.  People want to know that they matter.  People want to feel important.  People want to know that other people care about them.

That is why showing appreciation is so valuable!  When we appreciate others, essentially we are letting them know that they exist, that they matter, that they are important, and that we care for them!

Showing appreciation adds value to another person's life!  There are plenty of people that go above and beyond the call of duty on a regular basis and get nothing in return.  Eventually, these people may become bitter, frustrated, de-motivated, and feel the desire to quit!  Showing a little appreciation, goes a long way!

Inspire Appreciation

Appreciate Others - Inspiring Gratitude

If you are like me, your thought process throughout the day revolves around what you need to accomplish in terms of family, work, basic needs, etc...

We get into our daily routine and basically stay there until something extreme happens.  Something goes wrong, something tragic happens, something major happens...and then all the sudden we re-focus and re-structure our lives.

Why?  Why do we wait?  Why can't we break this cycle and begin to appreciate others before crisis happens?  Why can't we simply appreciate others right now in this moment?

Appreciate those around you!  Challenge:  call, text, facebook, or have a face to face conversation with someone this week...and tell them how much they mean to you.

Inspire Gratitude!